Wow~ what a week!!

29 NOV 2006
Backtrack a few days...

Monday 27 Nov
WOW got a free piano from my friend's relative... They're so nice!! They just shifted house and didn't want their piano le... So they gave it to me ^^ i only paid for the delivery services... Yeh!! But as a result of that, i was busy calling and negotiating the delivery prices with various delivery companies throughout the day and didn't manage to go get the forms for conversion to officer de. But maybe it's good too... After speaking to a few people who'd gone for the interviews before, i think i've not prepared enough yet... Must prepare myself better first before i actually apply. Back to the piano.. Wow liao it's sooo much bigger than i thought it was!! Take up so much space in my home... Mum wasn't too happy about it... Lolzz :p It actually made me start spring cleaning my room... Wah lau wey buay tahan so messy and dusty sial......

Tuesday 28 Nov
Wah... sooooo tired when i reached home... played piano for a while then went to sleep till about 11pm... then continue spring cleaning cos couldn't finish it yesterday!! Do until 4am lor... Still can't finish -_-''' Left abit only la... Haha :p Wah lau i kenna dust flu... Hachew hachew~ When tidying my room i saw those cards and letters that ling gave me last time de... Hai~ So sad especially when i read a "contract" she made me sign de... Spent half an hour thinking and brooding over us... Haha but well~~~ That's life~ Actually i already got over her le lah, but still abit nian nian bu wang~ :p Today quite happy... cos learnt that one of my good friends attached to someone le!! Hahaa ^^ So refreshing to know someone's newly attached after hearing about all the breakups... Lolzz ^^ Hey~ if u see this.. Gong xi gong xi!! You know who u are Ooo~? Hahaa ^^

Wednesday 29 Nov... Today!!
Wah lau~ My flu getting worse... whole day sneezing and headache!! Then got report to do... But the ppl who were supposed to give me their reports before 25th, today then finish theirs lo!!! Then in order to finish it in time i did OT till 7.30pm today... Sick still have to do OT!!! Wah lau~ Haven't finished yet lo.. tmr must faster cheong finish.... cannot take mc.. Haha :p But actually today quite happy... Happy about the piano... Happy about my room... Happy that my report's about to be done!!! Yeah!! Lolzz :p Hope friday got good weather... I'm on leave!! Wanna go east coast roller blade in the morn... Shun bian suntan ah!! Hehe ^^ I'm alone! Anybody wanna join me? Lolzz :p

abit sianzz de weekend... Lolz :p

26 Nov 2006, Sunday

Friday didn't manage to go roller blading... Rain rain rain... Then the ground wet =_= Ivy also didn't manage to siam her duty... No free ride~ Wah lau!! Can't test my new Blades!! Haha :p in the end i went to NPS after work... My colleague studying part time there so i just followed him.. took a ride in his vehicle. Wah lau now even senior's practice also only a few ppl i know only.

Saturday... Rainy day again. Original plan was to watch midnight show with NPS fellas but cancelled it. Stayed home and finished the whole book of "Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire", wow the part where he challenged the dragon was really nice~ Hai~ But like quite a waste to spend the weekend doing nothing but read a book =_=

Today! My friend Yusheng came to my home and we played the online game event together... Was quite suay with it haha. After that went P.S, watched "Step Up" with Alvin, Jonathan and Dejun... Wow what a nice movie... Especially the last part!! The performance near the end of the movie was sooooo nice, soooo cool~ Wat a performance!!! Wish i'd been to a concert like that... That bit itself was worth the ticket price le. Felt abit like dancing myself after watching it... Got abit of spring in my steps~ Lolzz :p But nah... Old le Hahaa :) Yay tmr shall try to get the application form to apply convert to officer ^^ Hope i'm successful in the application and interviews!! Wish me luck~ ^^ Wow liao almost 3am le... Tmr sure tired...

New Blades~!!

Today woke up at 6am... Fell asleep on the living room floor last night!! Lolzz :p Then went to bath and tried to sleep after that... But couldn't fall asleep!! Then remember that i missed out many details when writing here last night, so dragged myself out of bed to change it. First thing i discovered when i read my own posting... i put 11 Nov, wed =_=''' Wrong date leh... lolzz :p After editing, i ate breakfast and went to sleep from 9am to about 2+ pm. Haiyo when i woke up the sky dark dark... Was thinking wah lau tis had to happen when i wanna go shop for my new roller blades... Fortunately the rain didn't last very long... So i bathed again and went to Queensway Shopping Centre... Haha YEAH i've finally got my new roller blade shoes!!! Bought a new bag too... Dunno y today very good at bargaining... $522 shoes discounted to $310... Bag also managed to pull down to only $23 from $25... Another shop offer $28 lor!! Hahaa :p Learnt well from the aunties last time in phuket bah? Hahaa :p

After that wanted to leave the place to go NPS le... Haiyo raining so heavily again. Had to wait and wait then finally when i managed to get to the bus stop, i had wait and wait again... then squeeze myself and my big box of roller blades up the full bus!! Suffering lor... Lolzz :p Heng nvr take wrong direction... Then when reached NPS, Wow liao today so many freshies no guitars for us to use... Haha but in the end still got play some songs using Kelvin's guitar. Quite shiok... Borrowed the alto guitar to play for awhile also, WAH use alto guitar play la cumparsita the sound super cute and nice!! Lolzz :p Then we all went to Al Ameen for supper... Was quite fun... Said our old lame jokes to some freshies... They also know how high our level now hahaa ^^ Then got a few hockey club ppl went into Al Ameen for supper too.. Wow got 2 girls very pretty de and one of them looks like the prettier version of Meiyi... Haha well Xiaomeimeis to me le.... Cannot disturb le :p Ooo must faster go bath then sleep le tmr must wake up early go work again... Think back this 2 days... Not bad leh~ Enjoyed ^-^ Thank god Thank god

My Tues and Boon's wedding dinner (edited)

22 Nov 2006, Wed
(written @ 0030 23 Nov, edited @ 0745... last night write wrong date and missed many details... (-_-"') Haha :p)

Past few days, generally quite sianz... Haha hmmm but quite shiok too cos i managed to fix a critical component all by myself!! My own analyses and solutions... completely my one person de work!!! Lolzz :p Haolian sial... Haha :p Ohhh i also managed to fix my laptop without anybody's help!!! Saved my trip to zhaorong's home... Aiyo y i sooo clever... Lolzz ;p

Finally met the insurance agent yesterday le... She offered me a savings plan. It was quite a good policy to have, but still i decided not to take it up first... Wait till my plans are firm first, haha :P We chatted about some other things too... about Dan also, lolzz :p cos he say he quite dao, so i explain his situation to her. She say he's already very good le... Cos some ppl pick up call from insurance agent will scold de. It was nice chatting with her la. After that i bought myself a milkshake, bought mum and my 2nd bro fries, apple pie and sundae... Then went home and waited for the soccer match to start. YES Arsenal won!!! Was abit sianz during half time when Arsenal was trailing 0-1... But yay~ 2nd half they went out and scored 3 goals!! ~Arsenal 3-1 Hamburg~ Fabregas and Theo Walcott really power~ The assists they provided all so nice!! Haha :p

Today went to Ah Boon's wedding dinner at pearl river's restaurant in Suntec City. Was not bad... Boon's still as funny as ever. And got 2 tables behind us sibeh steady de like me (Haha). During yam-seng (toasting) time, it started with only with the onstage ppl yam-senging, wah lau how can? Hahaa so i started the off stage yam seng and they luckily they got follow... if not malu sial~ Lolzz :p As usual we like to yamseng when the voices came down, so that it almost nvr seems to end, hahaha ^^ i call it the yam wave... cannot say yam-seng wave cos only the yam keeps repeating. And we all made a "cocktail" for Ah Boon, got flower de hor... Dun kai wan xiao. Too bad my table de own ppl only got me, Jimmy, Dan and Doreen... the other half are other ppl de, those ppl not very steady... not fun type of ppl. Ah Boon sibeh steady sial... he say will come back for second round "tah liquor/wine", he really came back!! not like other ppl say tat to siam first round only... Haha :p In between got a video of Boon and his wife's day today, was so sweet... There were things which had me wishing i was going thru them with wanling if we haven't split up... So silly :p Trying to get into the house, then the room... Shouting to his wife in the process... and the kiss they exchanged when he finally got in... All that. So sweeeet~!! *envy* Lolzz :p Oh yah... The waiters there blur blur de. One of them totally forgot about Jimmy's 2 glasses of liquor when he asked for it... At first the waiter said dun have, then i pointed out to him where the liquor was... "neh? it's over there" "ay? orh..." Lolzz wah lau~ :p But after that he also nvr come back with the liquor la... Think he forgot. Poor Jimmy... Want to tah with Boon also so difficult. Another one asked the lady beside me if she wanted to refill her wine... She said "hao ah, xie xie" But he thought she said no then he walked away... Haha Heng she stopped him in time to refill her glass. Haha wah lau~ Liddat still not so bad... After that he mistook my wine for coke and he started refilling my glass with coke!! Lolzz :p Liddat still nvm... Jimmy asked for the liquor again, this time from the supervisor... Then she gave a set of instructions to the waiter and... He had to ask us,"err, wat did she say ah? wo you yi dian luan le (i'm confused le)" LOLZZ Wah lau really Buay tahan.. cute leh the waiter hahaa but good leh, it made our night alot more fun and funny. Wow got one of the bridesmaids very lenglui de... So pretty!! Her name is Connie... Too bad didn't get to talk to her and know her. When Edmund intro her to me and Jimmy (when we were leaving lor... abit too late, dun u think? Lolzz :p), we all are in half drunk de state... Lolzz :p Aiyo Tengah really got ghost... Today then know that Edmund and his gf also split up le...

Ahhh... Still half drunk now... dunno wat to write le, going to bath and sleep... Later if can, wake up watch soccer... Haha :p Looking forward to watch Step up and Flushed away over the weekend with NPS ppl... Hope they dun put aeroplane... Hmm Hope i wake up early enough to go buy my own roller blade shoes before go nps tmr... Cos fri going east coast with my colleagues to roller blade... Hahaz k lah think tat's enough for today..

wat a day~

19 Nov 2006, Sunday
Was preparing to go to zhaoru's birthday party today... Mum asked me if i was going out with wanling, i said "ahhh" at first... but really feel it wasn't right to continue lying to her liddat... But couldn't bring myself to say it. Then mum lamented that the frame of photos of me and wanling was really nice and sweet... Wah lau... how can continue liddat... So i finally told her about our break up. Mum was stunned for awhile... Then she looked like she was going to cry... And she kept asking me why? how come? Haiyo... Then she went to my room... picked up the frame of photos and looked longingly at them... Exactly wat i did when i got it back from wanling 2 weeks ago.. Haha like mama like son lei :p Hmmm... Mum looked so sad... She's really very fond of wanling lor... Then she say hai... very sayang lei... Hai she looked so so so upset... Mum also told me she didn't feel so bad when my bro broke up with his gf years ago... But for wanling she really very she bu de... very sad... Hai...... Feel so sad to break mum's heart like that.

Went to zhaoru's home in the evening with zhaorong, kuang, qimei and jason... Wah lau many ppl lei... Not much space for us. Didn't really got the chance to chat with zhaoru too. We took photos with Huang Shinan and Pan LingLing!!! They were at her party... Pan LingLing's still so pretty as ever... Lolzz :p And she's much slimmer than i thought. Met my childhood friend weifeng there... He's really changed alot sial~ he happens to know both zhaoru and qimei too.. Lolzz :p After that we went to JEC for Jason and zhaorong's dinner... I jio zhaorong and kuang for practices... To go take guitar grades... Haha ^____^

Busy week ahead... Tmr bringing my old laptop to zhaorong's home to c whether he can fix it for me... Tues meeting insurance agent (again~ hai~) Wed going to Ah Boon's wedding dinner... Thurs on leave!! going to buy roller blade shoes... (anybody wanna acc me? lolzz :p) then practice with zhaorong and kuang... Fri... Sat... Sun... free!! lolzz :p Actually think got something on de.. but can't remember le haha aiyo maybe i should get my own organiser le. Oh ya still got roller blading with my colleagues but can't remember which day it's on... Haha :p Aiyo... feel like watching movies... "Flushed away" and "Step up". But lazy jio ppl... Think this 2 many ppl already watch le also... Hai~ ^~^

Shuo shuo er yi~~ Haha...

Life's really empty when you steer out of your original plans and intentions. My only wish in my life was to build a happy family, didn't really find it necessary to achieve big things or become a "ren shang ren" (one above many)... I mean, what's the point of devoting all ur time to work and achieving big things but not enjoying life? I've always believed in finding happiness in contentment... not in big houses or cars or something... I've had many things... i used to be good in soccer and sports, i had distinctions for my studies, i'd say i was considered quite popular and influential in my cca club while i was there... (Lolzz.. Lao wang mai gua~ :p edward and kuang also la). But it all didn't really matter much to me at that time... Maybe it was because i had loads of everything... Nothing seemed to matter... and I was really happy. I didn't want to be best in everything though i might have been if i tried hard enough... Wasn't necessary to me. Only... Looked forward to meeting someone i'd love, and build a happy family... Teach my kids chess guitar soccer etc etc...

Ya... that's why i signed on. Just to get an average paying job and live the life i wanted, being myself, sufficiently contented in all the average and simple things in life... No $, how to start family? My friends used to tell me i'm wasting my talents... i should study in uni... and all that. Perhaps they were right... Maybe it's a retribution for not fully utilising all the gifts given to me from god... Ya... Found her... But let slip of her because i dwelled too much in the past glorious and happy days... Feels like i've got nothing now. When the one and only thing that matters is gone, it feels like there's nothing to look forward to anymore, y'know. I've been trying to play alot, ya... had some fun but at the end of the day, it still feels empty... Am i becoming a bucket or what? Lolzz :p

Big decisions to make within the next two weeks... Should i disrupt from my work to study full time for a degree or study part time over 5 years... Or try converting to an officer soon... Either way, gotta talk to my officer-in-charge before i know the options available to me... Can afford the years now that my original dream cannot be materialized. Moving on to new challenges and... yes... new goals... maybe new beliefs in life. No more jogging on the spot... And maybe... no more just being contented with the simple things in life.

Freedom is good, but freedom without direction in life... ... ...

ooo... suay day again :p

Ooo today was a boring day... Everything suay again today... Haha :p Work also bu shun li, everything done de surely got something cock up have to redo de, when finished work come out of my workplace the sun made me feel so comfortable... Decided i would bring my soccer ball down to kick around when i reached home but then just when i reached home, it seems like it's going to rain soon... Ling also last min can't meet me again. Wah Lau~~~ Think someone cursed me... How come i'm so suay de lei haha :p NVM~!!! Shit happens... The tide rises and falls... Bad days come and go... Everything will be good again soon~ (hopefully~~~) Lolzz ^___^

oh ooo... lolzz :p

16 Nov 2006
Tuesday went shopping around for yueying's bday present. Haiyo... Didn't manage to get anything leh... and Today's her bday!! End up took half day e-leave today just to get a present for her. Alamak!! Bought her a cute organiser at bugis... But think it's too cute and too jap for her liking... Sianzz :p Haha wah lau didn't think so deep in detail. But today shopping really tiring... look at accessories, look at clothes, look at bags... Dunno wat to buy!! Then as i walked and walked my legs and back started to ache. Then start thinking Wah lau y girls mostly cannot run alot but they can walk and walk and shop and shop? Really can't understand... Lolzz :p was complaining to myself all this over and over again as i continued in my quest to get her present.... Hoho :p

After shopping then went to meet Jiaying, Yuhang and Yueying to go SPstrings concert. Hmmm some of their songs quite nice...They played Overture, Hungarian Dance and fireworks music by Handels quite well... And their Can u feel the love tonight and their trio piece Oblivion was really nice!! But WAH LAU of all songs they had to start the concert with Canon in D... dun wan la........ classical music national anthem lai de... i hear till sianzzz liao la............ Hmmm... Was rather disappionted with their Liang zhu and Eine Kleine though... Cos last time during our Virtuoso X our club played it in smaller group but nicer... SP de many parts they cut the notes abit short le not nice... the flow too short le... Other songs i dun wanna mention... better dun... lolzz :p And some things cock up... The poor emcees had to keep covering up with their own speeches when there were long lapses in setting up the stage... The backstage ppl had difficulty in getting the piano out to the stage. In the end the sequence all jumbled up... lolzz :p AND one of the emcees pronounced Eine Kleine as "Eine Kleinee" Hahaa wah lau i on the spot laugh till buay tahan :P But it was not bad la... their standards better than many many schools...

Tmr meeting Ling for supper... Haha hmmm abit looking forward to meeting and chatting her again... but abit scared too, lolzz :p Wonder how she's doing now... If nothing goes wrong, tis saturday will meet the insurance agent... Sunday maybe meeting Yingmao and Ah Hwa for lunch, then go Zhaoru's birthday party at her home with Kuang and Qimei in the evening. Hmmm... Busy week xia =_= wah lau 1am le... gtg bath and sleep le...

Hohoho~ so funny~~

Today kuang finally came to my home to get his bday present le~!! Lolzz :p He see le the present... Buay tahan sial~ Hahaa... Finally i can unveil the story here!!!

Kuang received the nicely wrapped present just now...
Then he unwrapped it...
He sees "Brand's chicken essence" box... but he declares "aiya not possible one la"
i pointed to the 2nd wrapped transparent plastic layer and said"still so nicely wrapped, nvr open before de lei, not possible ah?"
He still thinks it's something else until......
he unwraps the plastic layer and proceeds to open the box.........
To his horror, the opening teared apart like it's nvr been opened before....!!!
He thinks..." wah lau... really is bai lan shi ji jing (brand's chicken essence) ah..."
Then he finally sees the contents inside... HUGE relieve and pleasant surprise for him... HAHAHA you all should have seen the look of horror on his face before tat :p and mum was laughing too... lolzz :p

Actually, bought him 2 sets of comic books la, Share with Dejun and Jiehui de, Cos didn't know wat to buy him... then remember that he like reading comics so just buy him 2 sets. By chance realised that the chicken essence box just nice can contain the comics and the weight should be similar too hohoo~ :p wow wow so fun, long time nvr so naughty le hahaa~ :p

Ooo~~ tmr going to gai gai~~ shopping~ lolzz :p Thursday going concert... Looking forward!! Haha ^^

Tat's all that's worth mentioning today~ Tat's all folks~!! Tatazz~ ^___^

thurs to sun morning~ Lolzz

Wah~ Few days nvr write le... Lolzz :p This few days passed so fast... But very not happening de leh, like can't seems to get anything done too. Thursday, bored at work. Dan, Ivy, Master Anand all not around... Haiyo.. Was supposed to go sing k with my colleagues in the evening... Haiyo but Ivy last minute couldn't go so i decided not to go too. Haha cos she drives and we live near~ she nvr go, very inconvenient for me... very leh cheh cos they all fixed the location at chinatown. Wah lau~ if i'd gone, i'd like reach at 9plus and must leave by 11plus and feel tired the next day... So in the end decided not to go, haha :p

Friday... Wah lau~ (again) Lolzz :p Cos my colleagues went roller blading... I couldn't join cos my leg was still hurting, a swell has developed around the blister somehow and it was hurting me more than the blister. The pain it gives me is equivalent to an ankle sprain lor... Tortured me for a whole week =_= Also asked Ling whether i could meet her to give her back her discs... But she decided we should meet another day out instead. Wow leeoow found out that Qimei gave Kuang a PSP for his bday, what a nice present... Haha Kuang so lucky :) Hai~ *envy*

Yesterday... Was supposed to meet the insurance agent but she got the day and place wrong... she tot i'm supposed to be meeting her today at NORTHPOINT instead, siao~ meet her still wan go so far meh... lolzz :p But anyway i was at JP with my friends... So it didn't matter. Our meeting is postponed to next week again bcos i'd decided i wanna stay home on sundays... Hohoho ^^

Today - Just finished reading another Harry Potter book... The philosopher's stone tat one.. Toh Peng le... Finished prisoner of azkaban le then read philosopher's de... (-_-''') Lolzz :p Haha decided that i'd read it from the first book. Today shall start reading chamber of secrets de. Hmmm... Wonder if Kuang is dropping over my home to get his bday present today or not...? Had the present nicely wrapped in somewhere it was not supposed to be in... Lolzz :p Kuang see le SURELY buay tahan... Haha :p Even mum finds it funny... She see le also laughed and joked with me about it. Hahaha wow seems like my sense of humour is still there~ ^^ curious? Shall write about it only after Kuang receives the present... Haha :p

=_= mum just asked me "Wah~ Wanling so busy ah??" ... dunno wat to say... i just said "Ahhh" in reply then quickly changed topic. Went to my bro's room and my 2nd bro shoke his head... Lolzz :p He's the only one in my family tat knows about it. Dunno when i should tell mum about it leh... Still can't bring myself to do it.
Hmmm... Wonder how she's doing? Found out the other day that as usual she's studying quite last minute... Haiyo tis gua... Hope she got concentrate study for her upcoming exams... Hope she's taking care of her own health and isn't too stressed too. Yes... still miss her lei... Haha :p

Shout: "leg~~~ Faster recover~~!!!! i wanna go on with my activities!!! Before i become nuah again... Lolzz :p i wanna go swimming~~~ wanna go roller blading~~~ wanna play soccer~~~"

wat's wrong with things nowadays...?

07 Nov 06
Today's my off day. Didn't have the mood to write here yesterday... Cos many tragic things happening to ppl around me. Nothing much to talk about today... Except that my leg's still hurting. After talking to zhaorong then realised that it wasn't just the blisters that's hurting me... Think i kind of twisted my ankle too. Gotta stay home to rest my leg. Finished reading the Harry Potter book from last week... prisoner of azkaban tat one. Then think back to yesterday... Abit sianz.

06 Nov 06
First thing in the morning, Alvin told me he just did the same thing i did... He was really sad about it and, i could really feel for him. He was the in the same state that i was in early last week... On the verge of breaking down any moment. Offered him many comforting pats on the back and chatted with him... Gave him some advice that might help... at least his relationship had more hope than mine. After that we got back to work... Wah lau started off with paperwork, luckily i quickly finished them off and self-volunteered to help my superior with our component testing, was really nice to be back to work... Liked the feeling of it.

Lunchbreak le.. Hai~ got no appetite. Went to cookhouse to get some fruits... Had a piece of watermelon and dabao 2 apples which i threw away in the end... Both also nuah nuah one very err xin. Planned to go msn till 12.30 then study for awhile before my test later in the afternoon... But in the end saw Yingmao online and chatted with her till end of my lunchbreak. Cannot stop our conversation just like tat leh... She told me about her tattered marriage, she's engaging a lawyer's services... all that. Wah lau wey her husband really is a ren zha. Shall not talk about her personal things here... But was feeling really bad for her... she's so kelian... much more kelian than i was last week. Maybe meeting her and Ah Hwa next week... Hai hearing 2 sad stories a day really ruins my day... Felt so sorry for them... Passed my test with flying colours... But couldn't feel happy about it. Luckily tmr's my off day. Reached home... Did some training... Bathed and slept... Woke up at 2.30am for my dinner... then started reading Harry Potter again.

bad mood

Had a bad day... Was supposed to be meeting the insurance agent and do some shopping after that but in the end i didn't go anywhere... decided to postpone meeting her to next week cos it was raining today and my blisters would hurt real badly when they kenna water. So instead i stayed home and played games... Took part in the online event of the game, it was not too bad...

After that i was really tired cos i only slept 4 hrs in the morning... but i started copying the photos from wanling's discs to my com again... Wah lau my com hang again. I lost patience and because it was so cooling i could not resist the temptation to take a short nap... Messaged Ling to tell her i'd return her the discs at another day and i went to sleep...

Hai was really a wrong choice to take the nap. Had a dream about them... The guy's name was kelvin in my dream... Ling was asking me whether i wanted to join the aunties and "kelvin" on a holiday... Siao... lolzz.. Then dreamt that her father didn't like him cos he liked me more. Haha wah lau... Where got ppl same as me liddat one... So shallow. Actually it was a really short dream... only this 2 elements cos after tat i was awakened by my phone... Ling replied me le. And can u believe how horrible i was...? i told her i'm sianz because of tat dream. Wah lau... why i liddat. After that, i went back to sleep till 11pm... I messaged Ling again to apologise for my earlier message.. Heng she doesn't seem to mind... Haha

Hai~~~ Wake up le also still continue to be suay... Just realised i'd missed my weekend soccer match... How could i have forgotten!? Tsk... Sianzz... Then my elder bro told me Arsenal lost... Wah lau more sianzz... Shit day today... To think that i thought my mood was getting better before all this (-_-''') Tmr also start work again le ... -_-''' sianz sianz sianz

oh......... Tmr... What should i do after work leh? Hmmm.. maybe go gym.. upgrade myself from skinny monkey to skinny bear... Haha or maybe go shopping... Got to think of what to buy for Kuang's bday lei... Maybe go $$value$$ anyhow buy him a sweet jiu hao muahaha :p Haiyo... i miss Yueying, Jiaying and Kuang... Appreciated meeting them so much last week and earlier this week. So nice to chat with them and have their company lei.. Haha someday must give them a treat...

Ouch~~~

I just reached home... Haiyo it's 4++ am already... Reached East coast at about 12 midnight just now... Went roller blading. Haha not bad... was quite fun ^__^ didn't fall down at first... but after becoming more familiar i started going faster a bit and fell down a few times... but wasn't painful at all cos i'd break the falls with my hands which had guards on them. Ivy also brought her new bf who was quite good at teaching... Haha under his guidance didn't fall down till my legs got tired. Today then i know Alvin also dunno how to blade!! Lolzzz not bad so i wasn't the only noob. At one point, i fell down and then immediately i turned to my body to do push ups... We laughed so much about that cos it was so funny haha :p But in the end i still ended up with 50cents coin sized blisters on each of my legs... Haiyo the rented shoes really not very good. Maybe i'd go buy my own pair of roller blading shoes... Will need to wait for the blisters to recover first. Now feel like playing new things... Haha

YA HOR just now didn't go to sit by the sea... Such a waste. How come now then think of it... Tsk. Haiyo now almost 5am le... Gotta go bath and then try to sleep... Tsk this jinmin anyhow give my no. to his insurance agent... Haiyo~ Going to meet her later at 4pm at JP. She sounds like she's cute and has a really bubbly personality. Hai~ But abit sianz to meet insurance agent leh........

HEY Anybody wanna teach me swimming? Wanna learn it and tan myself abit too... My skin colour has become too fair for my liking le!! Anyone interested please please must contact me... Lolzz (^_' ) Best if we could go on a weekend so i can suntan abit... Haha ^^ YESS to those who are still wondering... i can't swim la :p

mixed feelings...

Yesterday was on duty with nothing to do... Heng i got bring Harry Potter story book to read. Was reading it while watching shows on tv and thinking of her at the same time... Haiyo no scv there so boring. Watched MIB2 on tv3, Bruce Lee's "Jing wu men" and some old sg chinese dramas and taiwan dramas on channel8... Lolzz so that's what they have on tv at dead hours... Last time liked bruce lee's shows so much... But yesterday watched le find some things quite stupid and funny... Haha for example he'd yell as though he's in pain even though he kick other ppl... Think he's very kind cos his victims kenna from him too jialat can't oww so he oww ahh for them...

While doing those i also recalled some nice moments we (me and u know who la) had last time... like those occasions when i gave her gifts... when i played some songs for her using my guitar... watching midnight movie... arguing over why i nvr eat the mushrooms in my bowl... like eating at kfc... combing her hair for her at her home... and how her mood changed from bad to bubbly when we did some shopping... and how much she liked it when she says something's nice and i offer to buy it for her (though she'd pull me away and prevent me from buying)... and some of her cute faces and sotongness... Haha... so adorable.......

As i thought about us i really missed her so much that i wanted to call her to chat with her... that was at about 12plus or 1plus am liddat. but i knew i shouldn't so i curbed the urge to do so... until the temptation was too much to resist and i msged her at close to 3am. Heng she slept le... Haha :p Hai~ realised how much i downgraded from a very good bf to a really bochup one... haiyo i really huo gai. Well at least now i don't cry anymore when i think of us... in fact i feel happy while thinking of us... although abit sianz that after thinking can't call her to say sweet nothings to her... haha. Haiyo ren zhen shi fan jian... last time can do nvr do... now cannot le then feel like doing.

Then i remembered that i brought 2 char siew paos and some kueys... Mum's so sweet. She bought all those in advance and made sure i brought them to work to eat. They were so yummy... Maybe it's just cos i was hungry... Maybe it's the love from mum that made them taste so good. And then i decided to do some exercises while waiting for time to pass... Did some push ups and prisoner squats... Really too boliao le (-_-''') Then returned to watching tv and reading story book after tat...

0733am... Received her reply... She was still half asleep. Haiyo felt so much affection for her... i asked her to go back to sleep first... Actually i already could end my duty to meet her le.. But wanted her to sleep more so i waited till 8++ before i left my workplace... Felt so xingfu to know she was sleeping comfortably and snugly in bed, even though we're just friends now... We'd agreed on thurs that after my duty today i'd meet her to get back some stuff... my driving card and discs with some of our photos. Haiyo copying the pics from the discs really drive me crazy... some files cannot copy la... then my com like hang 3 times liddat... Cannot la... must return her the discs later liao... Tmr then copy... haha today got to sleep then handsome handsome go wedding dinner... Hohoho then after tat straight away go roller blading at east coast with my colleagues Ivy and Alvin. GOOD~ can learn... can PLAY~ Yay~~ can go seaside too ^___^

road to recovery...

Today wasn't too bad... Didn't manage to make myself sleep last night while working when i could, but thank god there's such a thing called sleeping pills in this world... Lolzz :p Lucky me. Slept throughout the day... quite a waste to sleep in the day. Maybe tonight i'll just take the pills and go to sleep so that tmr i can be wide awake. Hai... at this time, all the wedding dinners comes inviting. Tmr got to attend another one, then on the 22nd of this month another one again. But come to think of it, my this night duty came at the right time... if i was working normal shift this week i think i'd really wan to die, lolzz :p Bu Xing Zhong De Da Xing... Thank god thank god~

Today morning suddenly thought about east coast... Remembered some things about me and her but it wasn't that sad for me this time. I just try to remember all the happy times and stop thinking too much after that... Haha :p ooo i miss the sea. i guess all sad ppl love the sea, hohoho... Asked around today morning and found someone who knew how to roller blade... Good can learn how to roller blade. Need to make myself play something new now~ I think i've been too hardworking at work, i need to play play and play. Perhaps i'll feel alot better after that. I can imagine myself roller blading at east coast park already... Haha... Extending my thanks to my many friends who bothered to msg me to ask how i'm doing today and yesterday... Love u all. Let's meet up sometime ya? Miss u all (^_' )

Poor mum...

Poor mum. She sees me having improper meals, improper meal times, improper sleep patterns or no sleep, and she worries and nags me, and only gets a frustrated "HAAAHH LAAAAHHHHH" reply from me... Haven't been eating much for few weeks now... Everyday, mum tries to convince me to eat by asking me "shall i buy this for u? or tat? eat la, u eat not usual sleep not usual, how can?" And then she shows that worried look again. She doesn't know wat i'm going through. I've been in pieces internally, emotionally for few weeks now... i just try not to show them when somebody's around... I don't like to hear sorry words or sorry faces... especially when it's for me, cos i'd cry... Lolzz :p ya i'm really a crybaby.

Well back to my mum... She thinks wanling hasn't been visiting her cos she's busy... that she's doing her projects and preparing for her exams, cos that's wat i told her when she asked me 2 or 3 weeks ago. Now that our relationship is totally in pieces and Wanling is already attached to someone else, i still can't pick up the courage to tell mum wat's happened... She'd be so upset, because she loves wanling soooo much... she really sees wanling as her daughter, u know... Mum~ i'm sorry... i'm messed up... i didn't treat her well enough to keep her... How should i tell u what has happened? i really dun wanna hurt u... i know you're worried about my health... i don't have the strength now to brace up yet... but i can't tell u why i'm like that... i know you miss wanling... but i really can't bring myself to tell u what's happened to us... Sorry mum... i'm sorry... really sorry...............

Messed up life... i'm sad...

01 Nov 2006 1200hrs
Heard something yesterday..
Felt ok at first but in the end i couldn't sleep thru the night.. because everytime i tried to close my eyes to sleep, i'd think about her and cry... i'm devastated.

Today i went to visit her and her brother let me into their house. i stopped him from waking her up and then i sneaked into her room and sat by the door.. Looking at her longingly, lovingly, waiting for her to wake up. Oh my god... i really do love her so much... i was just supposed to be there to get something back from her... but i just couldn't help it. As i waited quietly and looked at her, affection in my heart overflowed, sorrow grew in my heart, tears streaked down my face... She wasn't mine anymore. And then her cousin's phone rang... and she woke up... she was really surprised... and then she went to wash up and we had a little chat...

we cried... we comforted each other.. we argued a bit... we had a nice little chat again... I longed in my heart for her to pick up the courage to break up with that fella and come back to me... she struggled. For a few times... i'd given up and wanted to leave but she pulled me back. i could see that she doesn't want us to end just like that... But she was on 2 minds. As of today, I think she still has feelings for me and wishes we could still be together... on the other hand, she's worried that her "stable" life now would spiral back to the times where she was really tired because of our relationship, because of my nuahness... Even as i left, i stood by her doorstep longing for her to change her mind... she'd bulged, her eyes turned red again... but then she braced herself up again and stopped herself from keeping me. And... in the end, it was too little, too late... she struggled to choose between us... But finally she decided to chose him... Though it's only been a short time, I guess she's developed some feelings for him too, so he must be a really nice guy... The person who matters to me most is attached to someone else...
life's a living hell now...i'm hurt... i'm misunderstood... i've really lost her for nothing. if only i knew about it 1 or 2 weeks earlier...

i don't understand all thats happened for the past few weeks... wish i'd changed myself earlier, just for her... i'm worried about her... That guy really came along at the right time, when she was emotionally weak, when she needed someone to dote on her... And he got a jewel just like that...

i wonder whether issit because of some stupid advice from some friends... Wat's the point of rushing into another relationship.. she's aready attached to someone else after only such a short while. i guess her life's getting back on track now and she doesn't want to ruin it again... I wish i'd explained to her why i broke up with her in the first place, before it all happened... I thought, if we could still be there for each other while we're single, i'd take the time to improve myself the way she likes it... So that we'd be perfect when we get back together.
Now it's all over... T_T

01 Nov 2006 2000hrs
I just woke up. My eyes are red and swollen from all the crying. Didn't really want to wake up but i had to because work starts at 11pm... Feel so sad now... first thing that i thought of when i woke up was her, wondering what she's doing now... and i cried again. There were really alot of misunderstandings between us.. Everything i wrote or communicated to her ever since the day i broke up with her, she misunderstood. She thought that i didn't want anything to do with patching up with her... She's upset because she thinks i implied on friendster that my life was messed up because of her... Now it really is because i'm without her. i cry uncontrollably when i go to sleep, when i wake up, when i think of her... Such a crybaby... Nothing i can do now... Gotta wash up and go to work...